Head in the mushroom clouds
Blooming like a lotus
Reeking of coffin nails
So you didn't notice
Waking to watch the sun blossom into view
But the event horizon: when she set her eyes on you
(And I thought I caught a glimpse of the eclipse)
Sticking around after the cleanse looking to party
Settling down will only get in the way of making a martyr
Numbing the pain
Ether again? It's rotting your teeth
(But I cannot sleep without it)
I want to believe
In a sanitized sanity
So cut off my hands and demand an example be made
Plenty of days
Plenty of time wasted wasted
Defending your flaws
Forgetting the laws of even exchange
But I'll never change
If not for the alchemy
Constant headache? Take your medicine
(Constant headache, constant headache)
I elect to forget who I am
(Than have to explain this rapturous pain)
Two celestial bodies to diverge
(I don't want your body)
(I want your body!)
I'm a curse
(I'm unfolding)
I'm a curse
(Am I faulty?)
I'm a curse
(It's my fault if)
I'm a curse

It's getting better every single day
But feigning feeling whole is draining my soul
This pain I fear I′ve known
All alone, I cast a stone
Abreast of me a life I lust
A hanging mask, a hollowed husk
With bated breath I chose
The path with the most resistance
To close the distance
In the end I cling inseparably to you
I bit off more than I can chew
But I wish you'd

Settle down, don't tell me — show me
A bitter pill, but you know you go too far
A bit of rope — you choke!
Hell bent for heaven
Is 27 worth the risk?
Learned to fight in your best friend′s basement
Try to bite, but you just can′t break skin
All of my best days are where they aught to be — a part of me

But I just can't shake the habit
The wound isn′t a scabbing
Would your god let you suffer like this?
All eyes on me: a biblical angel
I am a danger to more than myself

I try to pick myself up by the bootstraps
But I shall be nothing but dust from the sky
Can we keep this between you and i?
Like voices in static — I am an addict
And out of control
Someone that you used to know

It's getting better every single day
But feigning feeling whole
Is draining my soul
Am I too shallow?

Your picture on the wall
It helps me to remind myself
That I have got to find myself
A god damn outlet
Another shitty line about
Everything I′m lying about
But I can't help it
(At all!)
It fills me up, survivors guilt
Kills me ′cause I'm dying to know
If I've still got it
(I don′t!)
I have the guts to say to you
I need a week away to prove to myself
I felt better
When I could let her
Inside of my head for a change

′Cause you make sure not to say the wrong thing
She's latching onto every word
And it′s laced in every single song I sing
Some place adjacent to the hurt
'Cause all I know is nothing
And I can tell you′re bluffing
But will I bite the hand that feeds me?
You make sure not to say the wrong thing
Because I'm a dick, and I′ll do my worst
But you're addicted to what hurts

Do I have the right to choose?
'Cause I′m a deadbeat, and a loser
I′ve lost control
Yeah, I'm the sole of your shoes
And you wear me out
Tear me down
And cut me open
And I′ll burn and burn and burn
Like hell I do
And I'll meet you there
With the same damn indignation
Thought you′d put me in my place
And I'd just quit?
You′re full of shit
I hope you choke on your own spit
And you die!

And you'll try, and I'll
Make sure not to say the wrong thing
I′m latching onto every word
It′s laced in every single song I sing
Some place adjacent to the hurt…

'Cause I′ve been known to cancel plans
Ostracize my biggest fans
But will I bite the hand that feeds me?
You'll make sure not to say the wrong thing
Because I′m a dick, and I'll do my worst
But you′re addicted to what hurts

'Cause it's a blessing and a curse
But you′re obsessed with getting hurt

I held a mirror up to my friends
Just to dead them, and I’d do it again
Practice sinning making amends?
[Redacted] in confidence

So tell me what you want from me
I’d dead him just to watch him bleed
Filial servility
The apple don’t fall far from the tree

So tell me what you want from me
I bet it hurt to watch her leave
I didn’t mean to call your bluff
But six feet ain’t deep enough

All of my friends?
All of my friends — they′re all spent
Acting the maggot
All I've known, just a phone away
Like clothes I′ve thrown away
Torn and ragged

While everybody else is long asleep
Will I remind myself I'm losing teeth?

And it starts again
Oh the hollow scene begets
The windchill and the night sweats
Some teflon, son — all that you need
So charming and armed to the teeth
But haunted by uncertainty
Is it obvious to say
That all of the tools that paved the way
Have come to rust and break

Oh, I begin to slow
Succumb to ebb and flow
(You know!)
It takes time just to waste time
(Watch it go!)
By the wayside, by the wayside
Oh, your presence used to be
Everything to me
(You know!)
It takes time just to make time
(Watch you go!)
By the wayside, by the wayside
Oh, I begin to slow
Succumbing to ebb and flow
While everybody else is counting sheep
Will I remind myself I'm losing teeth?

Another dead temp soak
(To cleanse the body and soul)
Defend the knot in your throat
Until you choke
(and you choke!)
In tongues, the silence consumes
The wounded martyr, the womb
God sends his daughter
A lamb to the slaughter
And she blooms
A book of love from the grave
Another Page that’s been torn
A cardinal man misbehaves
Another angel is born
God brands the virgin: whore

Now you’ve been falling in love with a harpy
(I find that hard to believe)
Just a talking head, a fucking heartbeat
(Seeking scars, and a car seat!)
Rest assured: insincere & insecure
I told don’t hold your breath
Better off by yourself
Cheating death

I bet it hurt like a car crash
(A psalter hymn, a faulty armband)
You predator turned prey
(pray! pray! pray! pray!)
These words you learn just to swallow
(Until there’s nothing left but a hollow)
Just turn and look the other way
(For God’s sake)
I’ll never pray to whom I detest
He sought the privilege of packaged flesh
Casual sex in excess
Only apart will it start to make sense
Why you’ve been…

You take what you need from your host
A mistake, & you’ll bleed ‘til you’re ghost
But you stole, you stole, you stole
And you know you stole, you stole
What’s at stake? he’s a seed, she’s a hole
Once awake, now is being controlled
But you stole, you stole, you stole
And you know you stole, you stole

You were born to believe in me
I was born to be leaving you

Pretty soon you’ll end up a gun up to your head
Make another martyr in the morning in your bed

What’s safe in your stomach
Is making you vomit
Forcing your hand
And then when your blurry
Eyes start to worry
Full speed ahead

You toss and you turn
Like a worm in your bed
At what cost do you learn
That you miss what you never had

Slow down, the party′s over
Your best day of your year
I don't have the antidote for the poison
in your peers
Today I saw angels crying
But it′s too late to believe
You pray for the same untimely death
Caught up on the grief
Pulling heartstrings from my sleeve

'Cause I am beside you
What's dying inside you
To just cry if you′d like to
Because I′ve lost all count of the sheep
And the wightnoise helps me sleep

You'll make a wish on a satellite
How to light this whole room on fire
"There′s something about your cologne"
On the phone, on the bed
In the back of the car
The words fell sparingly from my lips
And past my tongue
(Today you pray!)
The curse to behold
O' the world! o′ the girl!
Oh, were far too young
And the worst has yet to come

Hedonistic?
You make me sick
A garden grows inside of me
So lay down your arms
And feed the worms
This body will know peace one day
One day soon

A pissant said I’m pissing away
My life inside this labyrinth
But I’m no better than
This old blood rhetoric

Where it takes a man to know his limits
A fool proceeds to scoff
I’m sure to revert to nothingness
When I’m done playing god

Raynaud, constrict
A needle prick
The beetles swarm to me
But I don’t typically socialize well

You are a nightmare
The curse that I bear
Lay down & accept
A life bereft of intimacy
O, lord have mercy
On me

Grafting…?
I’ve been grasping at straws
Trying to piece myself back together
But I know that I’m no better than
You are…

Sweetness, I know that you need this
Take this medicine
It’ll help you settle in
Sweetheart, don’t go too far
You’re only a part of me for part of me
So you better say goodbye to me
When you go
Because you drink too much
And God knows why
But you’re such a Mona Lisa when you cry

Hey hunny, is this not what you wanted?
Because I can’t stand to see you struggling anymore
And honestly, you’re more like a murder scene
You burn like a witch
You’re a son of a bitch
You’re a one of one, out of courtesy

But you know
That when you smile
With your teeth
Like a child, that I could never put to sleep

I never thought it would end this way

With a…
Six shooter in the backyard
To the back of your head
I’ll wash you out of my sheets
And clean your side of my bed
I never cry when I’m sad
But I feel fucking horrible
I won’t break
But I can’t keep myself together
And you’ll haunt me like a phantom limb forever
As every Lovely Day
Slowly Withers away

So give ‘em hell
Even though you’re heaven-sent
And I’ll scatter you along the riverbed

So you pretend I′ll wait
In a zen-like state
All your friends might mistake
A break from me
It all depends on the week

'Cause I need you to rush
Please come back home
She′s on her own

Alone in your bed
I know what you said
Your home is with me
November is red
And your god is dead
But you don't believe
Alone in your bed
I know what you said
Your home is with me
November is red
And your god is dead
But you don't believe

Until the sun comes out
And there′s nothing to talk about
Well how ′bout us? your pain? your fears?
And you'll say, "I don′t mean to stay
But you're just so far away"
And if you′re bound to me today
She'll rush for a change in atmosphere

I know just how you feel
Alone is how you heal

Talking in circles
You′re living on borrowed time
What can be worse than
Forgetting to say goodbye?
And I don′t keep secrets
But I'm taking this to the grave
Falling in love has been
Aging me backwards instead

I′m scared
That I won't find you here
I′m scared
That I won't find your hair

You’re breaking your back
Just to get a reaction from me
But I am not the calm and composed
That I’m supposed to be
Beyond the shadow of doubt
Lives my shallow and your self-esteem
You’re falling in love with a ghost
Trapped inside a machine

In the morning she waits for the sun
Mourning the flesh and the bone
Terrified of what she’s become
But she’s still afraid to die alone

So why am I afraid to cry?
If honey we were made to die
Just pray we make it though the night
And blame it on my human side
The part of me that you designed
The part of me where you reside

Is somewhere darker now;
It’s all because of her.
My home was always where you were
I got sober, now it’s obvious to see
The void in you, avoiding me
But what choice do I have?
My voice has become nullified
By noises in my head, and I descend
Do I simply have to smile and play pretend
Or close my eyes and beg for this to end

Will I ever forgive you?
Will I ever forget this?
Will I ever believe you?
Will I ever regret this?

This is me drawing my line in the sand
Never will I let you hurt me again

If I ever forgive you
If I ever forget this
If I ever believe you
If I ever regret this

Paint a picture — breeding with your vices
Plain and simple, existential crisis
So pick it up, girl you tell me pick it up
But are you eager to find?
Contingent upon birds and the bees
Gimme honey I can sing you a song
To prolong the belief of dogmatic absurdities

I said, "Hey lil mama why you messing around?
Can I come and sweep you off of your feet?"
You should already know what you're looking for girl
Is it something for a sugar to sweet?
You say loving is a thing of the crass
All the birds keep on singing if you're willing to pass the belief
But I'm a Nietzschean
She said "I'm just peachy"

Well it's cold but the peaches have been warming you up
Søren junkies, foreign monkeys got you smoking too much girl
Cigarillo Cinderella with the smoke in your eyes
A pale blue shade of innocence, my watercolor child

I said welcome to the neighborhood
I hope you don't stay for good
I know you go'n change your mind
But darling don't waste my time
I said welcome to the neighborhood
I hope you don't stay for good
I know you go'n change your mind
But darling it's a matter of time
I said welcome to the neighborhood
I hope you don't stay for good
I know you go'n change your mind
But darling don't waste my time

I said welcome to the neighborhood
I said, "Erica, you're more than just a friend"
She said, "save yourself, just pretend"

So look both ways before you cross my mind
I'm telling you girl, I don't have the time to be thinking about
What you're drinking about
One thing led to another
Now your gun's in your mouth
See, I could never pretend that I'm more than just another shit alternative band
And I know that one day if I pay my dues
I'll be back up in The Saint playin' rhythm and blues and singing

Who would've thought I'd be the one you put your trust in?
I'm an antisocial socialite
Your mother says you're so polite
It's disgusting
And it's so typical

So we're like "My bad, thought we're taking a break"
But you're latching onto what you want to, calling it fake
And all you've really caring 'bout is my face
And I hate the way I laugh, but girl, love when it pays
'Cause I'm sycophantic, sick of feeling manic
Sick of overthinking everything I do 'til I panic
And you can blame it on the moon or the alignment of stars
I can blame it on the booze, one of my many of my flaws, because

(I do this every single time)

She don't care about you, she don't care about you
She don't care about you (And it's so typical)
She don't care about you, she don't care about you
She don't care about you

I said, "Violet, you don't act this way"
She said, "I don't really care for what you have to say"
I said, "What you gon' do when it hurts to start?"
Said, "Kick it to the cut, let it break your heart

Oh, your smell
It lingers on my sheets
I haven't slept in weeks
Your space inside my bed has been left vacant
But please... silence on the set
Oh? Did you forget?
That I detest you
Lest we need to fake it anymore
(The end of the world is coming... does that scare you?)

Oh!
You're not there
You're not there
You're not there
You're not there
You're not there

Oh, killjoy
See I confess...
I don't possess the means to feel joy
Tend to spend time on my own
You see, I was all alone only seventeen
Young and monotone with no self-esteem
But you don't care
No you don't care
You don't care anymore
(You know you don't care for me)

God save the queen
Norma Jean, you're so routine

Well, don't tell me what you want
And don't tell me what you need
Because I can't give you more
Than what you gave to me
And when all is said and done
And all roads led to me
Then I'm glad you've had your fun
But you're still dead2me

Sun, skin, rapture
Nothing better
Float, sink, drown, fear
Keep from ‘round here

Kill your lover, evermore
I get hurt, can’t ignore
Mother’s image, summer’s son
You obey — understood

It was easier when you couldn't pretend
It was easier when you'd call me a friend
It was easier when you'd call me over
I remember we were sitting downstairs on the loveseat joking
Couldn't be a worse place for sex, dear
But there's always next year
Tell myself there's always next year

You tell me you're the sun
And I'll go blind
O, my vacant head
She said, "you're so out your mind!"

Because I alone, you avoid
I alone avoid a void
I alone, you avoid
I alone - a void

I'll set the scene:
Troubled teens and movie screens
But for pretty girls:
Shitty songs and mockingbirds
I think I'm over you!
It's so fucked up and overdue
You'll pray
That she'll stay
But she'll say

I can help you disappear
Do you run from what you fear?
I can help you disappear!
Can you help me?

It was nice to know you
Hummingbird
She wraps her lungs around a song
Despite the words
I'd like to know you
Like you do
I fell in love with a stranger
And I blame you
It was nice to know you hummingbird
I think I made a mistake here
And I blame you

It was nice to know you hummingbird
I think I made a mistake here
And I blame you

Gave you the sun
But you made off with the sky
Where once was fun in June
Alone in July
But I won't pretend I didn't bid you adieu
I gave my life for a stranger
And I blame you

It was nice to know you hummingbird
I think I made a mistake here

I wish you'd walk in
I miss your pillow talk and
I know it's a bit unlike me
To act so brand new
I'd sell my soul, do as you told me to
Because I'm still in love with a stranger
And I blame you

Hello
Do you hear me?
I need to know
If you're near me
Oh, why do you fear me?

Breathe, cry, pain
(The Haunting)
Free my brain
(The Haunting)
Sleep? try praying
(The Haunting)
Until you die,
You'll rely on The Haunting

Dead awake
Get away from me
Dead weight
Get away from me
Dead awake
Get away from me
Dead weight
Get away from me

Will you haunt me?
As you do
Do you want me?
As I want you

Tell me do I scare you?
Am I too naïve?
If I don't come near you
Can we make believe?
Tell me do I scare you?
Am I too naïve?
If I don't come near you
Can we make believe?

Do you believe?
Do you believe?
I can try to
I'm right beside you here
I can try to
I'm right beside you, dear

Do you believe in ghosts?

I am an anarchist
When I'm gone I won't be missed
But I don't want to die like this
(I want to heal)
And I don't want to lie like this
(I want to feel)
But I don't need that anymore

I want to...
Hurt
Feel
Taste
Real
Blood
Spill
Love
Kill

I need no introduction
Welcome to the greatest show
I can teach you how to ruin your relationships
With everyone important that you know

Hey, did I ruin your night?
Hey, did I ruin you?
Hey, did I ruin your night?
Hey, did I ruin you?

I am an anarchist
I am your fool

You thought you'd treat me better
How fun, I honestly thought the same
But I cut my tongue on broken promises I've made
And I'll bleed until you need me to settle the score
She said she's heard it before

It's a small town
Keep your voice down
And understand I don't care that you want me to stay
That's not yours to decide
Am I braindead?
Ain't that suicide?
If I can't get help...
Oh well
This life is a bore
So tell me if you've heard it before

You blossom here, I've got somewhere to be
You blossom here, I've got somewhere to be
You blossom here, I've got somewhere to be
You blossomed here, I gossamer

You set out
To destroy the sun
But settled
Because baby's number one
You're shadowed
Blanketed with sun
But you know
You're not the only one

Hey!
Give it to me
Leave it alone
Wait!
You just wanna...
I should've known
Because I can feel your energy
Trying not to breathe
Babe, live a little
Do as your told!

You're the centerfold

My head's flooded with pain
Your stiletto
Nightmarish scenes of you dead
Oh, I know what you've said
How you feel
How you hurt
Because it's inside me
I've got your head
Want your body

Do you feel any pain?
Do it again
Do you feel any pain?
Do it again
Do you feel any pain?
Do it again
Do it again
Do you feel any pain?
Do it again
Do it

I suck smokes, I’m a let down
Rich folks in a shit town
We’re the ghosts in your headspace
I don’t suppose that I’m a threat now?
You always said that
You’re not afraid of it
Unless that’s not what you said?
My biggest fear’s right between your ears
It’s a complex, when hungry it’s fed
But I think I’d rather be dead

I can’t stray from harms way,
Arms akimbo
Likened me to psalms
Stay strong — Akimbo

What’s with the guns that you hide?
You keep your arms at your side!
I’m just a product of your fear, I suppose
I’ll dispose of every one you provide
You’re there at heart,
Setting fire to the sheriff’s car
It’s getting harder to breathe
We let it burn, let it fill our cup
(Open up!)
I think it’s time that we leave
(Run for your life, kid!)

Fuck your feeling
They’re the reason that you’re ready to go
So defeated, so you hid it
Flaunt it, don it in gold
I’m another undiscovered
Ready set it in stone
Love of money
Hunny, power will devour you whole

Maybe I’ve been too hard to reach
But you keep on trying,
You’re lying through your teeth
What you preach, you’ve gotta practice
And breathe through your nose
There it goes!
You think you’ll make it?
The second you’re out there?

Well you’re nothing
When you’re out there,
Yeah you’re nothing

You always told me not to
Change my ways for someone else
But you’re the reason that
I like the way I hate myself
I never thought that I would care
What other people thought of me

If no one has ever told you this before,
Then let me be the first:
Try as you might,
But you cannot escape the human curse
Not afraid to die?
I know you’re bluffing.
You’ll always be the sun to me,
But in the end — you’re nothing.

On and on again,
I bet you’re out there
I bet you’re out there
There she goes again
Take me with you
Take me with you

Do you know?
That you’re so…
You’re so verso.

My peace of mind isn't mine, it's been stolen
But keep your hand off my switch blade
I'm feeling fine, killing time while the world ends
So we can dance to my mixtape

What to do when all your friends are vampires?
And everyone that you know is infected
What to do when everyone's a vampire?
We can spin in my room until the world ends

She's so chic
Inherently conscious, less of which we seek
She don't speak of such
Hush…
I'm trying to focus
Your magnum opus leaves me hopeless
And I've lost all touch
But I found God
She was working on Her pious checklist
She's had cigarettes and sex for breakfast
Existential dread, it's all the same
But what's Her name?
She was way too cool for that
I need your guidance, sociaristocrat
And I prayed that we could chat

I don't feel Her…
I'll believe if you tell me to
I don't fear Her…
I'll believe if you tell me to
Tell me to…
Tell me to…
Tell me to…

But where do we go from here?
I don't want to be left out, baby
I'll trade common sense just for confidence in you
But I'm not convinced it's true
You obscure emotion
I need your devotion
My esoteric, evangelic, heavenly divine young girl
I'll hold your hands, you can snap my neck
(Just make it quick)

I don't feel Her…
I'll believe if you tell me to
I don't fear Her…
I'll believe if you tell me to
Tell me to…
Tell me to…
Tell me to…
Girl, I've been going through hell

I found God
I killed God
I am God

Better you than me
Twist up and I can help myself if I want to
Never gonna leave this room
But I can kill myself if I want to
Do you want to?

“Let's drive and we can try our luck,”
Is what you said
”Might die, but I don't give a fuck…”
Is what you meant
I swear to God you make shit up in your head
Let's fight and you can write me off if you want
Last night did you believe in Her when you lost it?
I plan to burn that bridge when I cross it

Because if we're making out and getting high
We'll never make it out alive
But Honestly, I never have the time
If we're waking up inside our bed
I pray to God you stay
Instead you promise me again you'll never drive

Up late I hit you on your phone
Upset I left you on your own
You're so pretty but it's heavy when you're gone, babe
I pray that you come back home
Knew one day I'd be on my own
You're so pretty but it's heavy when you're gone, babe

So you went just to show your respects
And you wept like a fool - you’re a mess
Because I take what I want when I please
And you’ll beg for your life on your knees

But who do you know?
Who do you know?

In this life I have found there is love
It’s a shame they’ll never know what you’re capable of
You'll never know how, when, or why it will come to an end
I feel no remorse, but I’ll promise to cry for a friend
Or at least I’ll pretend
I’ll do the best that i can

Who do you know?
Who do you know?

I find my peace
You fall asleep
Forget my name
I feel no pain
I feel no pain
I feel no pain
I feel no pain
I feel no pain
Sunflowers rot
Is this goodbye?

Cut it!
Save yourself!

Description goes hereBelladonna, 2021
What a nightmare
I wanna get to know you
Why you running for your life, dear?

Oh she’s so sweet with her catch-up tongue
I’ll try my best not to make you run

Belladonna, 2022
I think I love you
Maybe 2023 will make you think of me

I sold my soul for your cocaine eyes
She's sort of undead, my lord of the flies

You’re telling me that you’re bored
Like you don’t want to be our here no more
You said I feel like a chore
But you don't know a single thing about that, do ya?

Cry more, cry - I never listen

You think you know me - you don't
I'll tie you up and leave you dead in the trunk
I park my car in the garage just for fun
I let it run, let it run, let it run

Blood on the dancefloor!
Cry more, cry - I never listen
Cry more, until you get what you want
Cry more, cry - I never listen
Cry more, until you get what you think that you want

Darling my hands are tied
You’re social suicide
Darling my hands are tied
You’re social suicide
Darling my hands are tied
You’re social suicide
Darling…

Wake before the sunrise
Wish him here to stay
Hands were turning purple
But I miss it every single day

Cross around my neck still
I try to pick a fight
Devil on my nightstand
But I miss you every single night

I do this every time
Still running round in circles
360, fall in line
I miss you every

Crowd is on its feet now
All is fair in war
Hell for those in denial
Oh, is this what you came here for?

I miss the sound of thunder
I miss your pouring rain
The movie is almost over
But you still depend on what you see
I think the end is nigh

Wake me up when this is over
I need closure
I need God, I see Her wings
But I hold off for better things
Oh what you see is what you get
Don't forget your manners
Nothing matters at all
And I’d love to watch you fall
Wake me up when this is over
I need closure
I need God, I see Her wings
But I hold off for better things
Oh what you see is what you get
Don't forget your manners
Nothing matters at all
And I’d love to watch you fall

Oi!